Wow! It's all I can say. For one, what a massive undertaking to arrange to get a conference room, discounted hotel rooms, speakers if you're not the only one doing the presentation, and prizes. On top of all that, Yvette Hines and I had to write, edit, and get published our full-length novels. It was a lot to do in a few months. I know what you all are thinking. "Bridget, didn't you do the same thing for the Hot M.A.M.A. event?" There were a lot of differences between the two events. For one, Kianna Alexander did most of the legwork for the Fly Hat luncheon. She found the hotel and set up the conference room. She also ordered the bags and bookmarks. She was the go-to woman. Plus for this event, we didn't have to have a full-length novel written and published.
It was a lot of moving parts that we had to make sure all worked together. After some scary moments (I didn't think I would have my print books in time for the event), we got it all to work. Both of us had our print books. The hotel did a great job setting up the room for us. The lunch was nice. And a friend of mine made these cute stiletto cupcakes for the event.
While Yvette and I were writing our books, I had arranged to get people in the BDSM lifestyle to be at the event and talk about how they got into the Lifestyle and why it works for them. They also did some actual playing during the event that I think was eye-opening for a lot of our guests.
We ran contests throughout the day. Both Yvette and I did presentations. Yvette did a phenomenal job on writing while incorporating the five senses. You can tell she did a lot of research on the subject. Who knew that honey was the number one aphrodisiac? I think we all thought it would be oysters or chocolate.
I presented a more controversial subject: writing interracial BDSM erotic romance. Writing BDSM is controversial enough. Throw race into the mix, and it gets a little dicey. I just had to present it in two ways: reality and the romantic. The romantic aspect is to have writers focus on the sensations and the love. The reality of writing about race within BDSM is that there are controversial acts dealing with race within the Lifestyle. For example, have you heard of race play? In BDSM, that's when race is used within a scene. Author K.D. King shared an online blog article about people who recreate the whole slave auctions, complete with a rebel flag hanging behind the stage, an African-American man standing naked for the "buyers" to view, and him being flanked by shirtless, booted white men in cowboy hats. In one picture, the "slave" is bending over and getting his genitals examined by one of the "owners." But that's not the only race play. Jewish people in the Lifestyle will go through a concentration camp scene with someone who looks or acts like Hitler.
I know. Sounds horrific. There's no way I could write something like that and make it romantic. I don't think anyone can. What I had to remind people at our event that all of this was done consensually. Yes, the African-American man at the slave auction wanted to be there. This was his fantasy. The BDSM community has a great credo that they follow: safe, sane, and consensual. A person isn't forced to do any act. And there are safe words, words used to signal how a participant is feeling, that can slow down or stop the action completely.
If anything, I do like that in BDSM: freewill. All parties involved have to be very strong in order to be in it. Yes, that includes the slaves and submissives. You can't be unsure and do the Lifestyle. You'll frustrate yourself and the Dom or Domme playing with you.
So now with that event behind us, I can now exhale. The Hot M.A.M.A.s and I are gearing up for another Fly Hat luncheon. Stay tuned for more information. Just like last year, we hope you all have fun!